How to Train Your Dragon - Dreamworks has a surefire hit on their hands.

Go see it right now. How's that? Have I said enough? Should I quit right there? This movie is a no-brainer recommendation to just about anyone honestly. It's funny, smart, adorable, wonderfully animated, fantastically paced, intelligently written, and has a lot to say.

I'm not exactly sure what the youngest age range for this flick is, but there were tons of kids in the screening I saw this afternoon, and all of them were giggling, cheering, yelling, and completely engaged in every single second of the movie. Some of the kids behind me were making surprisingly astute comments for being no older than age 8 or 9, it was really encouraging to listen to them especially at a time when we're told that kids' attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. These kids were so wrapped up in the events unfolding onscreen that it's a testament to the solid story-telling that the director and screenwriters were able to achieve.

I'm going to go into some plot and other details shortly, but rest assured that you won't be disappointed if you get out of the house for a few hours this weekend and check this movie out. I know that Hot Tub Time Machine is getting a lot of good word of mouth, but if you only have time for a single movie this weekend don't pass this one up. It's a real treat that easily stands alongside many of Pixar's best features and, while Pixar seems to have had the golden touch the last few years, they should be checking their rear view mirror if Dreamworks continues to produce work of this caliber.

SPOILERS AHEAD. As usual, if you want to go in with a clean slate stop reading here, I will be discussing the plot.

Based on a series of children's stories by Cressida Cowell (which I haven't read) How to Train Your Dragon tells the story of Hiccup, a young viking living in the land of Burq who is struggling to gain his father's approval, find a place for himself in the hurly burly viking lifestyle (Hiccup is a scrawny little guy more suited to using his brains to solve problems), and ultimately finds himself befriending one of the creatures who has been terrifying his viking village for generations. At the outset we learn that vikings and dragons are basically sworn enemies and, though their village has been around for hundreds of years, they have new houses due to the fact that dragons are routinely burning them down in attacks that leave the village in ruins. Adding to Hiccup's troubles is the fact that his father is basically the biggest, baddest viking in the land, the viking chief basically, who slays dragons with little effort, thus making Hiccup's lack of brawn and size all the more problematic.

I don't want to completely give away everything that the movie has in store, but I would dare just about anyone to stand this film up against Avatar and tell me straight faced that Jim Cameron's space fantasy has the better, more cohesive story. It doesn't. This script works extremely well on so many levels, it handles the struggles that Hiccup faces with his father, the difficulties he has with being a "different" kid when dealing with his peers whose only goals are to slay dragons like their parents, and the burgeoning awkward friendship he eventually begins to develop with his pal Toothless, that it's not only fun to watch visually from start to finish, but also a treat to enjoy emotionally. Yes we've seen elements of the story before (look to Pocahontas as mis-understood cultures find a way to work together) but it once again shows that, just because a story is familiar, it can still be enjoyable if the story is told well.

The animation seen here is fantastic, with small details and huge action scenes handled with equal care and aplomb. For my money, one of the best features of the movie is the creature design, specifically Hiccup's pal Toothless. Dreamworks took what we think of as "dragon" and then mixed in some house-cat and smart puppy to give Hiccup's fire breathing friend an instant likability that can't be ignored. The little guy is just too cute on screen, and watching the two of them interact and get to know each other is a blast filled with tons of laughs.

I can't reiterate enough how well executed the pacing of the movie is. Exciting action scenes are interspersed with moments of quiet learning and strong character development. Like I said earlier, the kids that were in the theatre with me seemed to love every minute of it, and were even engaged during the quiet parts. I didn't see a single parent take their little ones out of the theatre crying or anything like that, and I think that says a lot.

The voice acting is strong throughout, and I'd hazard a guess that Jay Baruchel (Hiccup), Gerard Butler (Hiccup's dad Stoick), and Craig Ferguson (Gobber) have already been preliminarily contracted for the inevitable sequel, and I'm sure their thrilled that the movie is doing so well by critics.

Last thing I'll say is that I'm actually a bit surprised that Dreamworks released this movie right now. The end of March is a pretty safe bet I suppose, but they had to know that they had a winner on their hands and I'd guess that the reason they didn't push the release back to this summer is that they didn't want to go up against the 400lb. gorilla that will be Toy Story 3 and risk losing some of their audience. After this I'll be curious to see when the next Dragon movie hits the local cineplex, but you can bet I'm going to be one of the first in line when those tickets go on sale. I can't wait to see what more of the Dragon stories have in store for us.

She's Out of My League

Jay Baruchel cracks me up. I absolutely loved Tropic Thunder and, though he isn't the "star" of that movie, he had some great comedic moments riffing off of that casts other, bigger players. So I was happy to see him get a chance at starring in a movie that more directly features him specifically. Though She's Out of My League isn't completely excellent from start to finish, it's a funny movie that's worth checking out if you just want to get out of the house for a few hours (especially since pickings are pretty slim at the local cineplexes right now.)

Baruchel stars as an airport TSA employee surrounded by a motley group of friends of other airport employees, who is down on his luck in life and luck. If you've seen a preview for the then flick you know the basic premise, Baruchel is a middle-of-the-road "5" in terms of date-able guys who suddenly finds himself dating a "solid 10" played by somewhat newcomer Alice Eve. Much to the amazement of his family, friends, ex-girlfriend, and even Baruchel himself this beautiful, funny, sexy, smart, talented girl not only spends time with him, but actively pursues him.

To be fair the movie starts out a bit slow, and most of the jokes that you've seen in the previews are found in the first 20 minutes. At first I was worried because I thought that the movie had given all it had to give right away and we would be in for another 80 minutes of boredom, rest assured this isn't the case. Though it's a bit uneven, and slow, there's plenty of laughs to be had if you just stick with it a bit. The stand out moments involve moments of uncomfortable intimacy with the odd-couple being surprisingly interrupted by the girl's parents, and a particularly hilarious scene involving Baruchel doing some personal grooming.

I think that Baruchel's other guy friends spend a good bit of the movie trying to mimic some of the camaraderie of the guys in The Hangover, and I can't say that they're totally successful on this front, but they're funny enough, and a sweet bunch of guys who really seem to care about their friend when things eventually start to fall apart a bit. Other funny bits in the movie stem from Baruchel's completely overbearing and awkward family, and watching the girl navigate through an afternoon with them is pretty hysterical. Some of this sequence made it into the previews but there is a good deal more to be seen here, and it's all pretty funny.

One of the things that surprised me most is that the movie ends up having a good bit of heart in the finale, though it's trying to sell itself as a balls to the wall comedy, it has romantic underpinnings that will keep your girlfriend happy if you can convince her to go with you. It's not a home-run by any stretch, not as funny as The Hangover, Knocked Up, or The 40 Year Old Virgin, but it's definitely funny enough to take a peek at. I'm looking forward to seeing more of what Jay Baruchel works on in the future.

Whip It - Drew scores in her first effort

I wasn't able to see Drew Barrymore's first directorial effort Whip It when it was in theatres this past fall, I was too busy with work, but I'm happy to say I was finally able to catch it on DVD this past week. Looking down the length of this current blog, I realize that I've been making all of these posts waaaaaaay too long so, in an effort to keep some of you reading, I'm going to aim to keep things a little shorter this time around.

Whip It stars Ellen Page as a teenage girl in a tiny town on the outskirts of Austin, TX. who is struggling with growing up, finding her own identity, dealing with a smothering mom (Marcia Gay Harden), and the difficulties of being a young person with big dreams in a small town. Page is as good as ever in a fun role that seems to be turning into a signature for her, demanding comedic timing, sarcastic wit, genuine emotion, and some serious depth.

Take a look at the picture over there and you'll notice that Ellen is dressed up in full roller derby regalia, and this is where the title of the film comes from. The majority of the plot revolves around Page's character finding a sense of identity, character, and passion amongst the rowdy crowds and interesting characters of the Texas Roller Derby league. Drew Barrymore should be given a lot of credit for making all of the derby scenes fun to watch, and giving the viewer a great sense of the atmosphere that surrounds roller derby.

Though a bit predictable (the life of Page's character starts going SO well past a certain point that you're left sitting there waiting for the other shoe to drop) and containing a couple of overly sentimental moments surrounding her new-found love interest, the plot is fun to watch unfold. Page anchors the movie from start to finish with style and a quirky Austin believe-ability. Having formerly lived in Austin it's also a treat to see how much of the city Drew Barrymore chooses to include in a lot of different scenes. Staple landmarks like the original Alamo Drafthouse, Waterloo Records, and the capitol building all make appearances.

A great supporting cast filled out with Kristen Wiig, Eve, Juliette Lewis, Jimmy Fallon, and Daniel Stern give the viewer a lot of familiar faces to surround themselves with and they all do really solid jobs in their respective roles. Juliette Lewis is good as Ellen Page's arch rival in the rink, and Daniel Stern has some really funny beats and a great change of character near the end of the film that really tugs at the heartstrings if you let him. It's nice to see him again as I can't think of too much he's done since City Slickers or the Home Alone movies. I'm sure he's done a lot, but it's just slipped past me. Drew Barrymore is also hysterical in the movie as an overly violent stoner derby girl. Prone to beating the other skaters up instead of trying to score points, at one point in the movie the team coach looks at her and asks, "If this play were called 'Bongwater' would you pay attention for a change?" Cracked me up.

I'm bummed I didn't see this in the theatre originally and am thrilled that I was finally able to catch up on it at home. It's an easy recommendation, give it a look and enjoy it.

P.S. - The outtakes during the credits are a lot of fun. Stick around to check them out.

Brooklyn's Finest - This ain't New Jack City

If I were to say to you I’ve got a cop drama starring Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, and Wesley Snipes that takes place in Brooklyn and is directed by the guy who did Training Day you’d probably think I had a pretty good movie for you to watch, right? On those merits alone it should be a solid, if not necessarily stellar, movie. It’s a good cast, in a great setting, and it’s dealing with the same type of world that Training Day took place in, and that was a great movie that won Denzel an Oscar. Sounds good, right? Unfortunately Antonine Fuqua’s latest directorial effort is another in a series of passable at best feature films.

Cribbing just a little bit from better films like Crash and Traffic, Finest follows three different and seemingly separate plotlines that center around men in or tied to the Brooklyn Police force. The problem with Finest is that, unlike Crash or Traffic, the varying plots never tie together in any sort of satisfactory or revelatory way. There is a passing attempt at having the main characters interact, but it literally comes down to something like Richard Gere bumping into Don Cheadle on his way out of a convenience store. That’s it. That’s all the intertwining we get from an audience standpoint, and that’s pretty meager.

Beyond the complete lack of interconnectivity, none of the characters in the movie have any redeeming features to speak of. There is little to no effort put into making the audience care about anyone they see on screen. Consequently, when things start to go south for everyone, we as the audience don’t particularly care. Is it a shame that Ethan Hawke has a pregnant wife and three kids at home living in a house that has a toxic mold problem? Sure it is, but we barely see those characters, and he’s such a shady character that when things start to go sour we can’t really feel for him. Is it unfortunate that Don Cheadle is going through an apparently messy divorce? Yep, but again, we never see her character and he’s not exactly the most savory of guys so why do we care about it? Why does the nature of his divorce get any screen time at all? We don’t even know why he’s getting divorced. I guess we could assume that his commitment to the job has led to the divorce, but it’s never even given lip service. He could just say, “Hey you know this job already cost me my marriage!” and then we’d at least have that much backstory but no, it doesn’t happen.

To be honest, the necessity of Wesley Snipes’s character is almost a complete mystery. I guess we are supposed to assume that he is a complete bad guy street hustling gang banger, but we never see any of that in the movie so why is he in there at all? Why make allusions to him being such a badass if you’re never going to make good on them? What’s the point? Furthermore there is no consistency whatsoever with his character. One moment he’s making a choice that would have you believe he’s turned over a new leaf and has renounced his (alluded to) violent past, and the next he’s moving full steam ahead with a big drug buy. For a guy not wanting to risk breaking his parole how does buying 10 bricks of pure heroin fit into that picture exactly? There are instances like these shot through the whole movie, characters make appearances or statements that have little or no bearing on the story being told. They just take up screen time, while at the same time I felt like some of the crucial backstory and exposition might have been left on the editing room floor. I’d be curious to see what the Director’s Cut of the flick will look like, but I don’t think I’m willing to subject myself to it again.

One thing I will give the movie credit for, it does a good job at painting the world that these men live and work in. It’s a dark, mean, gross place and these men have been beaten down by the continual onslaught of despair that’s present in their everyday existence. Richard Gere is just a guy who’s trying to make it to his retirement, and you feel for him at points. But in “just trying to make it to retirement” his character makes some pretty cowardly choices for 90% of the movie, so once again he doesn’t engender much good will. (Never mind the plots of the 2 rookies he gets paired with who vanish from the screen about 5 minutes after they make their entrance, never to be heard from again....)

The movie basically comes down to a scattershot mess of a plot. You can’t care about the characters since none of them is a decent person to begin with, and the plot meanders from point to point without building any real tension. Give this one a pass. Stay home and rent Training Day and New Jack City instead.

Alice in Wonderland - Tim Burton falls down the rabbit hole

Let me say right upfront that I’m not terribly familiar with Alice in Wonderland as source material. I have vague recollections of the original Disney animated Alice, and that’s about it. I’m actually going to check that one out again in the next few weeks and report back here afterwards, kind of do a contrast and compare of the animated vs. the Burton, but for now I’m just going to jot down my thoughts on this newest iteration. It’s now been the better part of a week since I saw this movie, so my thoughts may not be quite as clear as if I’d written this the next morning, I appreciate your patience with me.

I guess what I most felt upon leaving the theater when this newest version of Alice was over was....confused. I guess that’s hardly surprising given the source material, but it wasn’t the story that had me confused. What I was confused about was what had happened to me while in the theater. What I mean by that is that, on the whole, I found this to be not a terribly successful Tim Burton effort. The story being told never really grabbed hold of me as a viewer, I didn’t particularly feel invested in the events that were unfolding onscreen at any point. But then, right near the end, I found myself getting choked up and teary eyed as the tale neared it’s finale. It was this oddball outburst of emotion that had me confused, and still has me confused. I can’t point at any one thing in the movie and explain to you where it came from, even know so many days later I can’t clearly say what happened, but somehow Tim Burton was able to get to me, and I guess that says something, though I’m not exactly sure what.

Before we get to specifics, and in order to avoid spoilers, let’s talk basics. Do I recommend you go see it? Visually it’s a treat to look at. I can’t imagine Alice’s Wonderland in better hands than those of the decidedly skewed Mr. Burton. I don’t know who in Hollywood today could put a more topsy-turvy world, populated with a more unique bunch of characters together than Tim Burton. It’s a dark movie, and I wouldn’t recommend it for kids under the age of 10 or 12? Some strong performances are turned in by Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp (even if he is channeling a little too much of Capt. Jack Sparrow for my liking....) It’s always interesting to see where Crispin Glover will turn up, and he’s capable as the Red Queen’s Head of the Guard, and I wasn’t at all sold on Anne Hathaway’s take on the White Queen, I just didn’t understand what her whole demeanor was about for most of the movie. It was fun hearing Alan Rickman’s voice make a cameo appearance as the hookah smoking Caterpillar. I imagine the core audience for this movie is going to like it regardless, as I think Alice has a fanbase as rabid as some other fictitious stories out there, but for those who aren’t as dedicated to the story, I don’t know that you’re going to have a great time in the flick. The pacing of the movie is a sprint from start to finish, and it doesn’t totally feel like Burton is up to handling something that tries to move this quickly. Because it moves so fast, it feels like a lot of explanation is simply omitted as Alice dashes from one point to the next. The plot feels patchy at points, and some backstory is simply never explained at all. I’m sure the core fans will cry heresy at these statements, but those are my 2 cents, for what they’re worth. Obviously he did something right to get such an emotional reaction out of me in the final act, but what it was I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know whether that makes him subversive, clever, lucky, or genius.

DISCUSSION OF PLOT AND SOME SPOILERS FOLLOW - READ ON AT YOUR OWN PERIL

Let me repeat that I’m not terribly familiar with the source material, so feel free to correct any or all of what follows, and chalk it up to my ignorance regarding the text.

I guess what I’ve never been too clear on regarding this Alice is if it supposed to be the original story, or if it is supposed to be a kind of....I don’t know....sequel of sorts. Even the way the narrative works out, centering around the fact that Alice seems to have dreamt about Wonderland ever since she was a little girl (she’s of marrying age in the film) seems to lend itself to the idea that this is a follow up to the original story, but I’m not sure about that. This lack of clarity kind of puts the events of the rest of the film in question for me. Let’s look at an example or two to see what I mean.

My recollection of the original Mad Hatter is that he isn’t much more than a bit part in the story. Alice stumbles upon him and his infamous tea party, and then quickly moves on from there to some other adventure. In this story, Depp’s Mad Hatter is not only a pivotal character, but central to the entire plot, and this had me a bit off balance. Don’t get me wrong, Johnny Depp is a good actor, and he’s great at acting like a loon, but just because he’s good at it, and because he’s a big name and sure to get girls into the theater, doesn’t mean that you need to build the entire plot around him, do you?

Similarly, Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen is comically presented as having a bulbous head on top of a rather small body. She’s amusing, a tyrant, and yells “Off with their heads!” at all of the appropriate moments, but the choice to present her in such a fashion ties into a plot element that has all of the other individuals in her court wearing prosthetic noses, chins, or other body parts as a way to make themselves fit in with her own malformed nature. It’s an odd choice to make and, I think, an unnecessary one. Was this in the original story? The fact that the Red Queen is malformed and therefore her cronies all go around making themselves malformed too?

At the end of the day, what a lot of the movie felt like to me was that it had all of the hallmarks of the Alice in Wonderland story, but it kind of eschewed a lot of the original story. It’s got the White Rabbit, Red Queen, White Queen, Caterpillar, Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. But I feel like they basically plucked all of the most interesting characters and a few of the plot elements, and then just drafted a whole new story. I don’t remember the Jaberwocky, the Vorpol Sword, Crispin Glover’s character, the Mad Hatter being so essential, or other elements in this new Alice from the original story, but that could just be my failing memory. Anyone care to weigh in on this?

I’ll be back with thoughts on the animated flick in the next week or so, and maybe I need to read the book....?

Shutter Island - Scorsese takes a new direction.

I guess saying that Shutter Island is a new direction for Martin Scorsese isn’t entirely true. He’s ventured into creepy territory before with 1991’s Cape Fear starring Robert De Niro, but that movie didn’t leave much of an impression on me. In fact, I didn’t really like that movie much at all. I’m happy to report that Shutter Island, while not Scorsese at his best, is a really excellent film. If you’re a fan of psychological thrillers starring excellent casts in wonderfully creepy settings, then this is a movie you shouldn’t miss.

Let me be honest about a few things right up front. Coming into last night’s viewing I wasn’t too excited about this film. The previews have been around since something like last August, and I know for a fact that the release date was pushed back numerous times. (I think it was initially supposed to release in September or October?!) The fact that it’s been pushed back so long, coupled with the reality of it being released in February, a month not much better than January when it comes to Hollywood releases, I was pretty certain that the studio was taking a “Better to release it late than never.” standpoint. This mentality had me feeling indifferent about it to say the least. I’m happy to report that my concerns were completely unfounded. Scorsese has crafted a complex, atmospheric, nerve shredding piece of work that grabs the viewer by the throat from the opening shot and doesn’t really let go until long after you leave the theatre. Is it 100% successful? No, it isn’t, but what movie is?

Maybe the thing that comes through the most in the film is a sense of confidence. We all know that Scorsese is a great director. With classics like Raging Bull, Goodfellas, and Taxi Driver, and his more recent work The Departed no one is going to tell me that the man doesn’t know how to put a good film together. He’s a supremely capable man, good at framing shots, working with complex scripts, and weaving a lot of different narratives together while keeping everything compelling and moving forward. It’s his confidence that shines through in every scene. He knows what he’s doing, how to take the viewer through the story, and how to bring them to the dénouement, all the while playing his cards close to the vest.

Unlike the recent The Wolfman and some other “scary” movies of late, Shutter Island is good at the slow burn, constantly keeping the audience on edge in just about every single scene. It’s not a “horror” movie per se (it resides squarely in the “psychological thriller” genre) but it can definitely get you to jump out of your seat when it wants to. Taking place on an isolated island populated by the mentally insane, most with violent criminal pasts, I suppose it’s not surprising that it can make you jump at points. But the sheer sense of discomfort one experiences from start to finish is accomplished in a myriad of ways, not just through cheap scares, but in genuinely unpleasant sights, sounds, situations. Some of the “waking nightmares” are truly frightening but, strangely enough, eerily beautiful. I know that sounds contradictory, but it’s the truth. Without delving into spoilers, let me just say that the visuals that Scorsese puts together manage a delicate balance of horror and beauty that have rarely been seen in films I’m aware of, and might be reason enough for me to buy this when it hits the Blu Ray rack at my local Best Buy.

Performances? Anyone out there who’s going to try and claim that Lenoardo DiCaprio is “just another pretty face” couldn’t be more wrong. He is, without a doubt, one of the most talented actors of his generation, and I look forward to seeing where the rest of his career takes him. With films like What’s Eating Gilber Grape, Catch Me If You Can, and The Departed in his past you can’t argue with the guy’s talent. He’s strong here throughout, and particularly shines in the final chapters of the movie. He’s a man at the very end of a completely frayed rope and one can’t help but feel for him. The rest of the cast is solid with memorable work turned in by Sir Ben Kingsley, Max Von Sydow, and Patricia Clarkson. Mark Ruffalo, cast as DiCaprio’s newly assigned partner, turns in a solid sidekick performance.

The story is a labyrinthine maze, and seemingly becomes more and more complex with each new turn that DiCaprio’s tough guy veteran deputy marshall, and Ruffalo’s recent west-coast transplant uncover. The movie runs about 2:20, so it’s a bit longer than standard popcorn fare at your local cineplex, but it’s exquisitely timed in terms of pacing, with each scene building on the previous effortlessly.

My one gripe with the film, which both of my friends echoed as we walked out, is with the soundtrack. The atonal nature of it, while eerie, doesn’t seem to gibe with with the film on the whole. For a film set in the 1950’s it seems a bit heavy handed, and a bit out of place. However, it’s a minor complaint and easily overlooked given the rest of the film’s success.

A couple other quick thoughts before I end. This movie is one reason that I’m glad I check out sites like Rotten Tomatoes and look at reviews ahead of time. I might have skipped this one altogether had I not been following it on Rotten Tomatoes where it’s getting pretty decent reviews all around. Many complain that my penchant for reading reviews prior to seeing movies means that I don’t see some movies that look like they should be good, and that may well be true, but it’s the good word of mouth, and positive reviews that I read ahead of time that sold me on seeing this film once and for all and I’m thankful for that. I would have regretted not seeing this when I had the chance. Also, and I’d love for anyone to chime in on this, I know that the film is based on a Dennis Lehane novel and I hear that it’s a pretty faithful adaptation, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was almost watching a play in a couple of scenes. I wonder if this is a piece that could somehow make it into a stage adaptation....?

It’s not Scorsese at his best, look to Taxi Driver or Goodfellas for that, but it’s definitely Scorsese in fine form. And that should be reason enough for you to see it. It won’t be for everyone, but if you like creepy, or the previews have even remotely piqued your interest, then get out and see it while you can. You won’t regret it.

Check out my good friend Andrew’s thoughts here for a second opinion.

The Wolfman...now with 50% more boring!

I suppose I could end my review right there. Just tell you not to see this poorly written, aimlessly directed, plot-hole ridden, waste of talent, and you’d ultimately get the message. It’s a bad movie. Not the worst I’ve ever seen, not by a long shot (that honor goes to Naked Lunch, and I’d probably include 2009’s The Box at this point.) But it’s really quite...quite bad.

I’m going to try to write this up without spoilers, but let it be known that I will discuss aspects of the movie in general, some of which will be tied to plot, so stop reading now if you don’t want this crap-fest ruined in advance.

From the moment I saw the first preview for this new reboot of the Lon Chaney classic I was excited to get to a theatre and check it out. The previews indicated a great sense of art-direction with a really atmospheric movie, the effects looked to be awesome (the scene with Del Toro strapped to the chair while morphing into the Wolfman in particular stood out), and I thought the rest of the cast looked really strong. I mean, come on, it’s Sir Anthony Hopkins right?? How can you go wrong?! Damn you previews, and damn the marketing teams that come up with previews this enticing for movies this lame.

I’d read some of the reviews floating around the interwebs so I knew going into it that it wasn’t going to be great, but I hadn’t been adequately prepared for just how lame it was ultimately going to end up being.

First the good, the movie does look really great. It’s really atmospheric and dark, almost mono-chromatic with saturate grays, blues, blacks, browns. The settings are all fun to look at, and there’s some good period costume work going on as well I suppose, though it’s nothing too stellar. As for the next good.....well.....um.....yeah, that’s about all I got actually. How disappointing is that?

Let’s talk plot. You already know that Benicio del Toro is the Wolfman so nothing is spoiled there. But the plot surrounding how he becomes the Wolfman, his apparent history of mental illness, and all of the rest of the events of the film are a complete and utter mess. Nothing is really explained, characters that are somewhat pivotal (Hugo Weaving - Mr. Smith from the Matrix trilogy) are given a cursory shading of background information, and apparently crucial historical events are handled through incoherent flashbacks that barely tie together in any discernible way that makes sense. Imagine taking a decent book, throwing it into a blender, hitting puree for 2 minutes, and then pulling out the pieces and taping about 1/3 of them back together. Yeah, that’s the plot.

Performances? Well I’m a fan of basically everyone in the cast so I figured they’d redeem the film on some level. They come from a good body of work. Sir Anthony Hopkins, Benicio del Toro, and Hugo Weaving all come from a strong body of work with some excellent character work in their past. As my friend Andrew said, “Maybe it was a directorial choice to have every performer think about doing their laundry, or what they were going to have for lunch, while reciting their lines.” I don’t think I can put it any better. Not a single person in this film seems remotely interested in telling the story that’s being told. They all just seem.....bored.

Pacing is the final huge issue (I’ll give the cheesy dialog a pass for this review.) The whole movie has the tempo of a runaway freight train. It’s hard to understand how something that’s moving so ridiculously fast from one plot point to the next, from one setting to the next, can be so bland. Apparently, in England, they don’t have full moons like you and I do, on some sort of regular lunar cycle, instead they have a full moon every 2 or 3 days. You could see how that would be problematic when a Werewolf is on the prowl, right? Also, some people apparently can only walk across the full length of the English countryside as conventional means of travel (horse, train) are unavailable to them, while others can hop a train no problem. The weird thing about this? The person walking and the person on the train arrive at the same location at the exact same time!!! Explanation? Someone? Anyone?

Ok, I’m almost done. One last thing, and yes, this is a definite spoiler, so quit now if you don’t want the final 20 minutes of the film ruined. (The final 20 minutes that my friend Andrew and I simply spent laughing out loud while pointing at the screen.)

SPOILER BELOW!!!

The movie went from just lame to outright bad when, in what would be the final fight, Werewolf Anthony Hopkins jumps back from the wounded Werewolf Benicio del Toro in a fit of rage and...you guessed it...rips off his shirt Hulk Hogan style revealing his old, grey werewolf fur before getting his ass handed to him by his young pup of a son Benicio. Yeah, that did it.

All I could think about was what that day of filming must have been like on set.

“Yes Sir anthony, I know you’re a legendary actor, and that you’ve been in some amazing movies, and are immortalized as Hannibal Lecter forever. Now, would you mind putting on this old man werewolf suit and tearing your shirt off for us, please?”

Ugh. Skip it.