Clash of the Titans - AKA "Clash of the Suck"

This is going to be a short review because, honestly? There isn't much to talk about. This is battling it out with The Wolfman for lamest movie of the year so far. It's wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to start. The good thing about this review? I don't have to give a spoiler warning...because there is no plot to spoil. Apparently the director and screenwriters felt that a coherent narrative was a completely optional element of the movie and so, left it out.

Having such a glorious canvas like greek mythology to work with you'd think that putting together a compelling story would be relatively simple. Instead what they opted to do was create the Transformers 2 of myth movies. They went for bigger creatures, faster editing, needless slow-mo action shots (a gold coin skipping on water is interesting why???), and relentlessly paced action scenes where you can't tell who's doing what to who. Half the time I couldn't tell what was happening on screen because they don't really allow you to get your bearings. Complete disregard for the first film is kind of a slap in the face to those of us who look back on the original with fond memories. Yes, it was cheesy, but it was good fun with some really memorable moments and characters, and throwing all of that away while replacing it with nothing positive whatsoever is just insulting. (Those of you who've seen the first and remember the little mechanical owl will be sorely disappointed.)

So now you're saying to yourself, "Well if they didn't have a plot, I bet the special effects were at least awesome, right?" And I'm here to tell you that you'd be wrong. The effects seen on screen are something you'd see in a Sci-Fi Original Movie on a lazy Sunday afternoon and I actually think that the Sci-Fi channel takes more pride in itself and could probably do better. The creature designs aren't terribly compelling, and the CGI work is just plain bad. I don't know if they were trying to pay homage to the stop motion animation of the original flick or what but, in an age when CGI has come so far and become so seamless, to have it look so obviously computer generated is shameful. And the green screen work? What the hell???

Is the acting good? Nope. You can actually see Ralph Fiennes (as Hades) thinking, "God just get me to the Harry Potter set so I can get back to being a real bad guy working with a decent script." And I think that Liam Neeson spends most of the movie phoning it in or looking pissed that he was called off his upcoming "The A-Team" movie for re-shoots. He'd obviously rather be somewhere else.

Lastly is the implied sequel that comes at the end of the movie. The original Clash didn't have a sequel, why does this one need one? Apparently the director has already stated he plans to make at least a trilogy out of this current iteration and you can only ask, "Why??" I mean, if you're not going to bother with plot, coherence, attention to detail, or utilizing your actors, then what's the point???

iPad - Impressions and thoughts

I love Apple's products. It's not a secret. I don't think I'm quite the raving fanatic fanboy that some people I know of are, but I'm most certainly an avid fan, and don't feel that there is any shame in it. I've successfully switched probably a dozen or more people from PC to Mac in the past 10 years and not one of them has ever had a word of complaint after making the jump. I find their products to be reliable, stable, virtually virus free, intuitive, fun and, most importantly, user friendly. There really is a lot of truth to that old slogan "It just works" when it comes to Apple's products. Once you get your head out of the tangled and messy world that PCs operate in, and come to terms with how simple Macs are to operate, they are simply a pleasure to use and returning to a PC is a questionable idea at best.

Having said all of that, I'll be the first to admit that I was pretty underwhelmed when the iPad made its world debut this past January. The man behind the magic, Steve Jobs, hailed it as being magical, and rumor has it that the company spent somewhere on the order of one billion dollars in the development of the product. To me it just looked like a bigger iPod Touch, and I didn't really understand the need for a product like this. It can't do everything that my laptop can do, and it also can't make phone calls, so......what's the big deal, right?

The device isn't magical. But it certainly does have the potential to be revolutionary for a number of key reasons.

1. User Interface - The iPad is incredibly user friendly and intuitive to use. It's a snap to set up, and I don't think in any way intimidating to users who aren't terribly computer savvy. My mom has had one for 3 days and has already paid her bills online with the new gadget. She's now beginning to delve into the wealth of applications that already exist for it due to the iPhone's huge library, and will probably be reading a book on it in the next few days.

2. Portability - Yes laptops are easy to tote around, but they can still be a drag, and their batteries are notoriously short lived. The iPad is basically the size and thickness of a Time magazine, seems to be incredibly rugged, has a battery life of 10+ hours and, if you get the 3G model, can be online anywhere you want to take it. Freeing it from the leash of power cords in a lot of ways, and the necessity to be on your home network. Drop it in your purse or backpack and off you go for a full day of light-duty computing with nary a cord in sight.

3. Web Browsing - It's just better in this venue honestly. Whipping around pages with your fingertips, tapping on whatever link you want to view, zooming in and out with ease, it's just so much more pleasurable and fun than the mouse or trackpad interface.

4. Applications - This is where the iPad is really, I think, going to sink or swim. iPhone has excelled in the manner it has not because of AT&T's phone service (which is questionable at best) but because of what independent developers have been able to create in the way of applications. There are now something like 200,000 applications to be found in the iTunes app store and the sheer variety of them and what they allow you to carry around in your pocket from productivity and games to interactive yellow pages, fitness regimens, and personal budgeting tools is utterly mind-blowing (and can often be overwhelming.) If developers race to and embrace the iPad with just as much enthusiasm then the platform will definitely change the way computers are viewed in the home. Even just the first inkling of iPad specific applications are already pretty stellar....and it's only the first week of public consumption. Programs like Sketchbook, Starwalk, and The Elements: A Visual Exploration are shining examples of how this new platform can be used.

5. Accessibility - This basically echoes my first point, but is worth stating again. The iPad is a perfect platform and vehicle for those individuals who may not be terribly comfortable with computers, or for those people, like my mom, who don't need their computers to do a lot of heavy lifting. Can I run my drafting program on it, can I build a website on it? No (at least not yet.) But I wouldn't want to draft or build a website on the iPad, that's a task better left to my laptop or desktop. But can I email, surf the web, listen to music, look at pictures of my vacation, put together a Keynote presentation for work, watch a movie, play some video games, do a crossword puzzle, play a game of Scrabble with a friend on Facebook, figure out a new recipe for dinner, watch some videos on YouTube, and read the newest Stephen King book?

Yes. I can. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

To be completely honest, and Steve Jobs has admitted this himself, you can't get a full understanding of how this will change the way you want to use a computer, until you spend some time getting your hands on it. That's the truth of things. It's easy to dismiss as being "a big iPod Touch" if you just look at a commercial or read about it in a magazine, I get that. But once you actually get your hands on it, the attraction of all it can do, and the potential for all it might do, becomes evident pretty quickly.

After all this you're wondering if I've got anything bad to say about it right? I'll admit that the lack of Flash support is kind of a drag. Apple has stated that they've got no interest in supporting Flash, as such, the iPad will only show you a little box with a question mark sitting in it if you try to go to websites that are solely driven by Flash (my own site included, yes, I will be re-tooling it this summer.) But the device is completely HTML 5 compliant, and the future of the web is HTML 5. It's capable of doing much of what Flash already does, so if you just give it time, you're not even going to notice the Flash issues. And many websites are already being altered to rely less heavily on Flash.

I'll also say that the 2 separate models is kind of a downer. One model of the iPad is Wi-Fi only meaning that you need to be near some manner of wireless internet connection to get online, while the model coming out later this month is both Wi-Fi and 3G enabled. The 3G enabled model works on a pay as you go basis with AT&T where you can pay $14.99 per month for up to 250mb, or $29.99 per month for unlimited, internet usage. While I'm thoroughly enjoying this new piece of gadgetry and see it replacing many of the base uses of my laptop in every day usage, the Wi-Fi model I've got does leave me longing a little bit for the 3G model that I could take to the beach, or the local park, or on a road trip where the internet might not be as easily accessed.

Guess my next upgrade will be iPad 2.0 with Wi-Fi and 4G internet, and who knows what that future will look like. I can't wait.

The Ghost Writer

Roman Polanski puts together a densely plotted, tightly woven thriller with his most recent film The Ghost Writer. Polanski, who's probably best known for Chinatown and Romsemary's Baby seems to excel at storytelling like this and this recent effort is no exception. Full of twists and turns, supported by a strong cast, excellent pacing, and delightfully atmospheric music that serves to elevate the tension, Ghost Writer is compelling from the opening frame to the closing credits. It isn't the fastest paced movie you're going to see this year, so if you're attention wanders easily this one may not be for you. But if you like a movie that takes its time, has a clear focus, is crammed full of intrigue and betrayal, and is topical to the world around us today, then you couldn't do better at the cineplex right now than Ghost Writer.

As per usual, if you want to go in with a blank slate then go ahead and stop reading here. I'm just going to do a brief discussion of the plot real quick before wrapping this up. No spoilers this time around.

Ewan McGregor stars as the film's titular "ghost writer" who's been hired to clean up the rough draft of a memoir for ex-British Prime Minister Andrew Lang's life. Lang, played well by Pierce Brosnan, begins the film under investigation for war crimes committed while in office, specifically dealing with the unlawful holding and interrogation of terror suspects. McGregor is asked to come on last minute because his predecessor committed suicide before finishing revisions on the final copy of the book. An apparently talented writer who is known for working quickly under deadline, McGregor feels well suited for the job as he knows little about politics which, in turn, should allow him to get to the heart of what Lang is about. McGregor is quickly whisked away to meet lang and begin work, his publisher wants the final draft in hand within the next fours weeks so there isn't a moment to lose. This is the set up for the film which quickly becomes a sprawling labyrinth with new suspicions and revelations around every turn.

It's an immensely satisfying movie to watch, in a time when we seem to be getting louder, bigger, brighter, flashier, and more explosive in our movie story-telling, it's nice to see a movie that really builds tension by letting the actors do what they do best, act. No cheap smoke and mirrors here, just a really strong plot that we can all relate to a little bit if we've watched news in the last few years. Get to a theatre and check it out if you've got the time. It's not a big release so you might want to look at your local art-house theatre instead of the AMC 24 at the mall, but if you can find it it's well worth it.

How to Train Your Dragon - Dreamworks has a surefire hit on their hands.

Go see it right now. How's that? Have I said enough? Should I quit right there? This movie is a no-brainer recommendation to just about anyone honestly. It's funny, smart, adorable, wonderfully animated, fantastically paced, intelligently written, and has a lot to say.

I'm not exactly sure what the youngest age range for this flick is, but there were tons of kids in the screening I saw this afternoon, and all of them were giggling, cheering, yelling, and completely engaged in every single second of the movie. Some of the kids behind me were making surprisingly astute comments for being no older than age 8 or 9, it was really encouraging to listen to them especially at a time when we're told that kids' attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. These kids were so wrapped up in the events unfolding onscreen that it's a testament to the solid story-telling that the director and screenwriters were able to achieve.

I'm going to go into some plot and other details shortly, but rest assured that you won't be disappointed if you get out of the house for a few hours this weekend and check this movie out. I know that Hot Tub Time Machine is getting a lot of good word of mouth, but if you only have time for a single movie this weekend don't pass this one up. It's a real treat that easily stands alongside many of Pixar's best features and, while Pixar seems to have had the golden touch the last few years, they should be checking their rear view mirror if Dreamworks continues to produce work of this caliber.

SPOILERS AHEAD. As usual, if you want to go in with a clean slate stop reading here, I will be discussing the plot.

Based on a series of children's stories by Cressida Cowell (which I haven't read) How to Train Your Dragon tells the story of Hiccup, a young viking living in the land of Burq who is struggling to gain his father's approval, find a place for himself in the hurly burly viking lifestyle (Hiccup is a scrawny little guy more suited to using his brains to solve problems), and ultimately finds himself befriending one of the creatures who has been terrifying his viking village for generations. At the outset we learn that vikings and dragons are basically sworn enemies and, though their village has been around for hundreds of years, they have new houses due to the fact that dragons are routinely burning them down in attacks that leave the village in ruins. Adding to Hiccup's troubles is the fact that his father is basically the biggest, baddest viking in the land, the viking chief basically, who slays dragons with little effort, thus making Hiccup's lack of brawn and size all the more problematic.

I don't want to completely give away everything that the movie has in store, but I would dare just about anyone to stand this film up against Avatar and tell me straight faced that Jim Cameron's space fantasy has the better, more cohesive story. It doesn't. This script works extremely well on so many levels, it handles the struggles that Hiccup faces with his father, the difficulties he has with being a "different" kid when dealing with his peers whose only goals are to slay dragons like their parents, and the burgeoning awkward friendship he eventually begins to develop with his pal Toothless, that it's not only fun to watch visually from start to finish, but also a treat to enjoy emotionally. Yes we've seen elements of the story before (look to Pocahontas as mis-understood cultures find a way to work together) but it once again shows that, just because a story is familiar, it can still be enjoyable if the story is told well.

The animation seen here is fantastic, with small details and huge action scenes handled with equal care and aplomb. For my money, one of the best features of the movie is the creature design, specifically Hiccup's pal Toothless. Dreamworks took what we think of as "dragon" and then mixed in some house-cat and smart puppy to give Hiccup's fire breathing friend an instant likability that can't be ignored. The little guy is just too cute on screen, and watching the two of them interact and get to know each other is a blast filled with tons of laughs.

I can't reiterate enough how well executed the pacing of the movie is. Exciting action scenes are interspersed with moments of quiet learning and strong character development. Like I said earlier, the kids that were in the theatre with me seemed to love every minute of it, and were even engaged during the quiet parts. I didn't see a single parent take their little ones out of the theatre crying or anything like that, and I think that says a lot.

The voice acting is strong throughout, and I'd hazard a guess that Jay Baruchel (Hiccup), Gerard Butler (Hiccup's dad Stoick), and Craig Ferguson (Gobber) have already been preliminarily contracted for the inevitable sequel, and I'm sure their thrilled that the movie is doing so well by critics.

Last thing I'll say is that I'm actually a bit surprised that Dreamworks released this movie right now. The end of March is a pretty safe bet I suppose, but they had to know that they had a winner on their hands and I'd guess that the reason they didn't push the release back to this summer is that they didn't want to go up against the 400lb. gorilla that will be Toy Story 3 and risk losing some of their audience. After this I'll be curious to see when the next Dragon movie hits the local cineplex, but you can bet I'm going to be one of the first in line when those tickets go on sale. I can't wait to see what more of the Dragon stories have in store for us.

She's Out of My League

Jay Baruchel cracks me up. I absolutely loved Tropic Thunder and, though he isn't the "star" of that movie, he had some great comedic moments riffing off of that casts other, bigger players. So I was happy to see him get a chance at starring in a movie that more directly features him specifically. Though She's Out of My League isn't completely excellent from start to finish, it's a funny movie that's worth checking out if you just want to get out of the house for a few hours (especially since pickings are pretty slim at the local cineplexes right now.)

Baruchel stars as an airport TSA employee surrounded by a motley group of friends of other airport employees, who is down on his luck in life and luck. If you've seen a preview for the then flick you know the basic premise, Baruchel is a middle-of-the-road "5" in terms of date-able guys who suddenly finds himself dating a "solid 10" played by somewhat newcomer Alice Eve. Much to the amazement of his family, friends, ex-girlfriend, and even Baruchel himself this beautiful, funny, sexy, smart, talented girl not only spends time with him, but actively pursues him.

To be fair the movie starts out a bit slow, and most of the jokes that you've seen in the previews are found in the first 20 minutes. At first I was worried because I thought that the movie had given all it had to give right away and we would be in for another 80 minutes of boredom, rest assured this isn't the case. Though it's a bit uneven, and slow, there's plenty of laughs to be had if you just stick with it a bit. The stand out moments involve moments of uncomfortable intimacy with the odd-couple being surprisingly interrupted by the girl's parents, and a particularly hilarious scene involving Baruchel doing some personal grooming.

I think that Baruchel's other guy friends spend a good bit of the movie trying to mimic some of the camaraderie of the guys in The Hangover, and I can't say that they're totally successful on this front, but they're funny enough, and a sweet bunch of guys who really seem to care about their friend when things eventually start to fall apart a bit. Other funny bits in the movie stem from Baruchel's completely overbearing and awkward family, and watching the girl navigate through an afternoon with them is pretty hysterical. Some of this sequence made it into the previews but there is a good deal more to be seen here, and it's all pretty funny.

One of the things that surprised me most is that the movie ends up having a good bit of heart in the finale, though it's trying to sell itself as a balls to the wall comedy, it has romantic underpinnings that will keep your girlfriend happy if you can convince her to go with you. It's not a home-run by any stretch, not as funny as The Hangover, Knocked Up, or The 40 Year Old Virgin, but it's definitely funny enough to take a peek at. I'm looking forward to seeing more of what Jay Baruchel works on in the future.

Whip It - Drew scores in her first effort

I wasn't able to see Drew Barrymore's first directorial effort Whip It when it was in theatres this past fall, I was too busy with work, but I'm happy to say I was finally able to catch it on DVD this past week. Looking down the length of this current blog, I realize that I've been making all of these posts waaaaaaay too long so, in an effort to keep some of you reading, I'm going to aim to keep things a little shorter this time around.

Whip It stars Ellen Page as a teenage girl in a tiny town on the outskirts of Austin, TX. who is struggling with growing up, finding her own identity, dealing with a smothering mom (Marcia Gay Harden), and the difficulties of being a young person with big dreams in a small town. Page is as good as ever in a fun role that seems to be turning into a signature for her, demanding comedic timing, sarcastic wit, genuine emotion, and some serious depth.

Take a look at the picture over there and you'll notice that Ellen is dressed up in full roller derby regalia, and this is where the title of the film comes from. The majority of the plot revolves around Page's character finding a sense of identity, character, and passion amongst the rowdy crowds and interesting characters of the Texas Roller Derby league. Drew Barrymore should be given a lot of credit for making all of the derby scenes fun to watch, and giving the viewer a great sense of the atmosphere that surrounds roller derby.

Though a bit predictable (the life of Page's character starts going SO well past a certain point that you're left sitting there waiting for the other shoe to drop) and containing a couple of overly sentimental moments surrounding her new-found love interest, the plot is fun to watch unfold. Page anchors the movie from start to finish with style and a quirky Austin believe-ability. Having formerly lived in Austin it's also a treat to see how much of the city Drew Barrymore chooses to include in a lot of different scenes. Staple landmarks like the original Alamo Drafthouse, Waterloo Records, and the capitol building all make appearances.

A great supporting cast filled out with Kristen Wiig, Eve, Juliette Lewis, Jimmy Fallon, and Daniel Stern give the viewer a lot of familiar faces to surround themselves with and they all do really solid jobs in their respective roles. Juliette Lewis is good as Ellen Page's arch rival in the rink, and Daniel Stern has some really funny beats and a great change of character near the end of the film that really tugs at the heartstrings if you let him. It's nice to see him again as I can't think of too much he's done since City Slickers or the Home Alone movies. I'm sure he's done a lot, but it's just slipped past me. Drew Barrymore is also hysterical in the movie as an overly violent stoner derby girl. Prone to beating the other skaters up instead of trying to score points, at one point in the movie the team coach looks at her and asks, "If this play were called 'Bongwater' would you pay attention for a change?" Cracked me up.

I'm bummed I didn't see this in the theatre originally and am thrilled that I was finally able to catch up on it at home. It's an easy recommendation, give it a look and enjoy it.

P.S. - The outtakes during the credits are a lot of fun. Stick around to check them out.

Brooklyn's Finest - This ain't New Jack City

If I were to say to you I’ve got a cop drama starring Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, and Wesley Snipes that takes place in Brooklyn and is directed by the guy who did Training Day you’d probably think I had a pretty good movie for you to watch, right? On those merits alone it should be a solid, if not necessarily stellar, movie. It’s a good cast, in a great setting, and it’s dealing with the same type of world that Training Day took place in, and that was a great movie that won Denzel an Oscar. Sounds good, right? Unfortunately Antonine Fuqua’s latest directorial effort is another in a series of passable at best feature films.

Cribbing just a little bit from better films like Crash and Traffic, Finest follows three different and seemingly separate plotlines that center around men in or tied to the Brooklyn Police force. The problem with Finest is that, unlike Crash or Traffic, the varying plots never tie together in any sort of satisfactory or revelatory way. There is a passing attempt at having the main characters interact, but it literally comes down to something like Richard Gere bumping into Don Cheadle on his way out of a convenience store. That’s it. That’s all the intertwining we get from an audience standpoint, and that’s pretty meager.

Beyond the complete lack of interconnectivity, none of the characters in the movie have any redeeming features to speak of. There is little to no effort put into making the audience care about anyone they see on screen. Consequently, when things start to go south for everyone, we as the audience don’t particularly care. Is it a shame that Ethan Hawke has a pregnant wife and three kids at home living in a house that has a toxic mold problem? Sure it is, but we barely see those characters, and he’s such a shady character that when things start to go sour we can’t really feel for him. Is it unfortunate that Don Cheadle is going through an apparently messy divorce? Yep, but again, we never see her character and he’s not exactly the most savory of guys so why do we care about it? Why does the nature of his divorce get any screen time at all? We don’t even know why he’s getting divorced. I guess we could assume that his commitment to the job has led to the divorce, but it’s never even given lip service. He could just say, “Hey you know this job already cost me my marriage!” and then we’d at least have that much backstory but no, it doesn’t happen.

To be honest, the necessity of Wesley Snipes’s character is almost a complete mystery. I guess we are supposed to assume that he is a complete bad guy street hustling gang banger, but we never see any of that in the movie so why is he in there at all? Why make allusions to him being such a badass if you’re never going to make good on them? What’s the point? Furthermore there is no consistency whatsoever with his character. One moment he’s making a choice that would have you believe he’s turned over a new leaf and has renounced his (alluded to) violent past, and the next he’s moving full steam ahead with a big drug buy. For a guy not wanting to risk breaking his parole how does buying 10 bricks of pure heroin fit into that picture exactly? There are instances like these shot through the whole movie, characters make appearances or statements that have little or no bearing on the story being told. They just take up screen time, while at the same time I felt like some of the crucial backstory and exposition might have been left on the editing room floor. I’d be curious to see what the Director’s Cut of the flick will look like, but I don’t think I’m willing to subject myself to it again.

One thing I will give the movie credit for, it does a good job at painting the world that these men live and work in. It’s a dark, mean, gross place and these men have been beaten down by the continual onslaught of despair that’s present in their everyday existence. Richard Gere is just a guy who’s trying to make it to his retirement, and you feel for him at points. But in “just trying to make it to retirement” his character makes some pretty cowardly choices for 90% of the movie, so once again he doesn’t engender much good will. (Never mind the plots of the 2 rookies he gets paired with who vanish from the screen about 5 minutes after they make their entrance, never to be heard from again....)

The movie basically comes down to a scattershot mess of a plot. You can’t care about the characters since none of them is a decent person to begin with, and the plot meanders from point to point without building any real tension. Give this one a pass. Stay home and rent Training Day and New Jack City instead.